Why are we Avoiding Engagement?

This morning I woke up with an earworm, or as the Americans say, ear candy. 

The lyrics that were going through my head were: 

And if I had one wish,
then it would be this,
love and happiness to you.? 

I was singing these few lines to myself over breakfast and enjoying them. while hoping to remember what this song was and who sang it?

After a little time, I told my wife the lines and asked her if she knew the answer to my question. No.

Two minutes later, she sent me the answer on WhatsApp.? 

I was disappointed that I now had the answer, as I realised I was enjoying singing along to myself in the hope of remembering.

Everything and anything is available to you digitally 24/7 from hacks to fix your home to [insert your own answer here]. 

We no longer have the pleasure and satisfaction of working something out for ourselves and, in doing so, imprinting the solution in our heads.

Just think of the pleasure you gain, having done one of the following:

Growing fruit or flowers rather than just purchasing them.
Fixing a squeaky door.
Painting an old shed or your sitting room.
Connecting your phone to your new smart home appliance.

Now you have something to talk about when visitors call.

Oh! There’s another thing, when was the last time visitors called unexpectedly?

As I was writing this article, my house phone rang.

Who has a house phone anymore, and if you do, would you answer it?

I did not, thinking that if it’s important, they would leave a message.

However, they could have called me to tell me that I had won €18,000 on the raffle tickets I bought in Mullingar two weeks ago.

I will never know, as people never leave messages anymore. What’s that about?

Can you imagine how much easier it would be if a friend or colleague just called you to invite you to play golf or have lunch?

Oh! I forgot.

You do not answer your phone.

Then they will email or WhatsApp you, and the dance of agreeing on a day and time will take 3 to 4 messages before you finally agree to get together.

All the while, avoiding the pleasure of a chat and human engagement, while quickly agreeing on a mutually convenient time and place.

We believed that all this technology would improve our means of connection and engagement; it does not.? 

This tension between easy access to information and real satisfaction is the challenge of our digital lives: Have we traded genuine engagement and connection for convenience?

Take a moment to ask yourself: When did you last meet friends socially, or entertain guests at home, was it before COVID?

You spend lots of money to have your home just so, but who ever sees it?

The Problem Today

We now downgrade all human engagements.

• People we email, we should phone.

• People we phone, we should meet.

• People we should meet for dinner, we meet for lunch.

If you’re curious to know what the song was, give me a call. 

By Executive Coach Andrew Keogh of Aristo.ie