— Anna Pinkerton (@AnnaPinkertonKI) June 5, 2017
The hard truth is ‘everything we carry within us emotionally is transferred to people and situations that surround us’. Your career is no exception. We all have a choice as to the type of relationship we create with ourselves, and I think we would choose more wisely if we knew that we can influence people for good and for worse. So, if you want to boost your career prospects, start from the inside out and attract a more fulfilling career path.
So, what is internal kindness?
Internal kindness is to consistently speak and treat yourself with gentle acceptance, with gentle encouragement, tolerance, inner-quiet, and ease. This is true responsibility for yourself, your emotions, your choices and your actions. Gaps in your knowledge are accepted as opportunities not inadequacies or weaknesses. Things done you’re not proud of are accepted, attended to, learned from and moved on from. You become someone people want to be like and be around.
The opposite to kindness is inner brutality
Inner brutality is where you brutalise yourself, you curse, berate, hate and diminish yourself. This deepens your feelings of inadequacy and are wrongly installed into your brain as immovable characteristics of yourself. You become full of intolerance, brittleness, anger, unease, un-acceptance of others, and you’re difficult to connect with. You appear contradictory, hypocritical and hyper-critical of others. You come across as overly confident, arrogant, and narrow minded. People do not want to be like you and they find it hard to be around you.
— Anna Pinkerton (@AnnaPinkertonKI) June 4, 2017
So, if you want to boost your career prospects choose KINDNESS every time.
“Brutality breeds aggression, brittleness, intolerance and hatred“
“Kindness breeds tolerance, flexibility, companionship, healing and growth“
So, in terms of work and business inner brutality leads to disappointment, loneliness, feeling unfulfilled, agitated and angry no matter how ‘successful’ you have become.
Inner companionship creates an inner atmosphere of fulfilment, gratitude, opportunity, ease, and joy for what you do. THIS is the kind of person people will work hard for and the kind of person people want to do business with. Why is that? It’s because the person loves what they do, lives with ease, joy, gratitude and kindness. They convey the atmosphere of this experience and the passion is obvious and contagious. People want to work with others who feel this way. On the other hand, business people who emit brutality, intolerance, inflexibility and hatred are not magnetic. They create anxiety, resentment, self-doubt, suppression and depression in others.
How would you like to affect others?
You get to choose how you affect others by harnessing your own personal power to attend to everything you hold in yourself. This is great news for you personally and professionally. It means you have more control than you think over your career journey.
Interestingly, many leaders overlook this and carry their self-doubt, their inner brutality, their lack of confidence for years and decades. Even if they build extraordinarily successful businesses, they fail to get any enjoyment from their success.
You are simply your own worst enemy or your own best friend and is there no middle ground. People will employ and do business with companionable and kind people.
Commitment to Kindness
This is the intensive work I do with leaders, those that feel ready to truly take not just a step up but actually a whole leap and change. The leaders that I work with are utterly committed to transforming their inner relationship into something that is way more robust than inner brutality.
It’s no one’s fault!
We are surrounded by a culture that endorses self-deprecation but it’s so unsophisticated. If you were to know that the unsaid stuff is the stuff that is in control and will toxify your workforce and your business, would you do something about it?
It’s not for the light hearted, kindness takes commitment. It takes recommitment, sometimes hundreds of times a day in order to ‘rewire’ old thought patterns, behaviours, habits and neural pathways that are full of brutality.
If people are at the mercy of their neurology, their employees and businesses are at the mercy of their neurology too.
Kindness is the biggest embracer of challenge. It allows you to be resilient to change because you can’t let yourself down, you won’t avoid tough things because you diminish yourself. You will face opportunities with fervour, and creativity. What you accept, and are companionable about in yourself, means you are genuinely accepting and embracing of all others. You therefore don’t take your inner agonies out on others and you do not rely on others to ‘pick up your pieces’.
Kindness to self, boosts your career path making you mature, emotionally intelligent, responsible and compelling.
Article written by Anna Pinkerton, author of Smile Again: Your Recovery from Burnout, Breakdown and Overwhelming Stress, available from Amazon, priced £9.99.
Anna Pinkerton is a therapeutic coach, corporate therapist and a leading expert in post-traumatic stress disorder. For more information, visit www.annapinkerton.com