When Sorry Makes Things Worse, Tips for better strategies in 2020

It seems reasonable to believe that saying sorry is pretty much always a good approach to handling criticism – especially online. Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s recent apology tour, undertaken to undo some of the damage relating to major criticisms of widespread abuse on the platform, appears to have had a good impact on investor confidence. Forbes reported in April that Twitter’s stock jumped 15% in response to a quarterly earnings report published just as Dorsey concluded his tour of podcast studies and TED Talk venues.

And when Tesla’s Elon Musk apologised to investors for “not being polite” in 2018, the company’s stock shot up by approximately $5 billion. Commentators called that the most valuable apology in corporate history.

When Sorry Makes Things Worse

But ‘sorry’ isn’t a magic bullet for handling criticism. In fact, it can – and often does – make things worse. And the tech industry has played a big part in lowering the value of sorry. In our book ‘The Apology Impulse – How the Business World Ruined Sorry and Why We Can’t Stop Saying It’ distinguished psychologist Professor Sir Cary Cooper and I analysed hundreds of corporate apologies, many from the tech sector. And we discovered that the crisis management habits of Silicon Valley can be uniquely counter-productive.

 Jack Dorsey sorry for eating chicken

In 2018, Jack Dorsey apologised earnestly for his dining choices. When Twitter users noticed from a Tweet that he’d eaten at Chick-Fil-A, a fast food chain owned and operated by conversartive Christians opposed to gay marriage, there was moral outrage. Dorsey sort of apologised, adding that he “forgot about the background”. It did very little to improve his reputation though. In fact he might as well have not bothered.

Twitter was then sorry on behalf of its CEO after Dorsey had been photographed holding a sign critical of ‘Brahminical patriarchy’ while in India. That apology then attracted outrage of its own, as it turned out plenty of people agreed with the sentiment of the poster and didn’t want him to back down.

Dorsey found himself defending another apology months later after saying sorry to controversial media personality Candace Owens. Twitter itself had labelled the Fox News contributor as ‘far right’. Dorsey apologised, then people got upset and it looked for a moment that he was going to apologise for his apology. There’s no pleasing some people.

Zuckerberg sorry, not sorry

Mark Zuckerberg has had similarly mixed fortunes with his apology game. After the Cambridge Analytica scandal broke, he tried to contain it with a 934-word ‘nonpology’ for what had happened. Crucially, his statement didn’t contain the word ‘sorry’. That came later. Much later. It took Zuckerberg a few goes at apologising properly for what was going on, and Facebook’s stock price suffered in the process.

Zuckerberg should be good at saying sorry by now. He’s had enough practice. His first high profile public apology came before Facebook was even launched. In 2003 he had to say sorry for invading people’s privacy via Facemash, the Facebook precursor. “I definitely see how my intentions could be seen in the wrong light” said Zuckerberg insincerely.

Uber keep it local

Uber’s apology habits are unpredictable to say the least. After a series of scandals and controversies had completely tanked perceptions of the brand, Uber sent out an apology email to customers it was worried hadn’t used their service in a while. It was typical of the ‘Silicon Valley says sorry’ format; talking of ‘culture’ and ‘listening’ rather than pointing to specific failures that were going to be addressed.

The apology was weird for another reason too. It was only sent to customers in New York. Uber had figured out that Lyft was picking up their lapsed riders after Uber’s reputation in and around New York had become toxic following their choice to promote their fares for JFK Airport right in the middle of a unionised cab driver strike. This really annoyed people locally. So Uber apologised locally.

2017 was a horrible year for Uber and they ended up dispensing with founder and CEO Travis Kalinick shortly before investing $500 million in their now famous ‘apology tour’, fronted by new CEO Dara Khosrowshahi. According to a study by on-demand insights platform Alpha, just three in ten consumers actually forgave Uber.

Contrition, Silicon Valley style

The tech world is great at giving bad apologies. Common to the most high profile mea culpas are vague equivocations and woolly language. Tech companies seem to expect more leniency because they’re not like other business; the founders all tend to be young, they’re idealistic, cool and they don’t wear suits.

So they don’t apologise in the ways we’ve come to expect. Terms like “we missed the mark”, “we’ve been listening” and “mistakes happen” punctuate their contrition. And it’s catching on. Large corporates are adopting the hoodie-wearing apology habits of the tech sector. And, more alarmingly still, when Adel al-Jubeir, Saudi Arabia’s Foreign Minister and chief diplomat addressed press after an investigation of the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi, he chanelled Silicon Valley’s very distinctive style of contrition; “sometimes mistakes happen”.

Sean O’Meara is a publicist and communications consultant. He is the co-author, along with Professor Sir Cary Cooper, of The Apology Impulse – How The Business World Ruined Sorry And Why We Can’t Stop Saying It, (Kogan Page) out now.

See more books reviewed here.

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