Public Speaking – Be remembered for all the RIGHT reasons!

Recently, I attended a family wedding, and it was a most enjoyable day and evening. 

It was lovely to meet family, some of whom I had not seen in months and others for years. It is nice to see nieces and nephews who were children the last time you saw them and are now young adults in university, employed, and sometimes with their own families. 

Because of my job, people always ask me for my thoughts on the speeches, and wherever possible, I give a polite reply and change the subject.

However, for the benefit of people who will have/want to speak at a wedding or other important family occasion, here are some general comments which are applicable to most family occasions.

Unless you are a brilliant joke teller and sober, avoid telling jokes at all costs. Someone is always offended (Madison Square Garden “Island of Garbage”)

You need to work on preparing your speech; this takes hours over several weeks. Find a quiet space, talk to yourself (out loud) and time yourself. Ten minutes is always enough; otherwise, by the time all the top table speak, the total time is often an hour or more.

This is not how your guests wish to spend their day. Also, the kitchen will be much happier as the meal will not be ruined as the talks go on and on and on.

Enjoy hot food:

I remember some years ago, a proud father stood up to speak about his daughter. The talk started on the day she was born and covered every major and minor event in her life up to the wedding day. Fifty-five minutes later, he sat down exhausted, and so were we.

On another occasion, I have seen the bride’s father deliver a well-prepared and humorous speech, which went down well with his buddies from the Golf Club, but he neglected to mention his daughter – OOPs!

Bestman: 

You are at a family wedding where offence can often be taken, so do not tell the stories you would tell over a few pints in the pub or on the stags.

Groom:

Be sure to tell your wife how fortunate and happy you feel and how well she is looking on the day.

Do not read your script; just tell her if you want to sound sincere.

For all other speakers, be brief. Key people at the top table, maximum time ten minutes all others less than five, time yourself in advance, otherwise you will be the person the guests talked about for the rest of the day for all the wrong reasons. 

P.S.

It’s perfectly acceptable to have a small piece of paper with key words written down. 

If you are going to read your speech, which I do not recommend, be sure to have your glasses with you.

By Executive Coach Andrew Keogh of Aristo.ie