Your mental health is expensive, how to avoid an Emotional Overdraft

Leaders Are Supporting Their Business at the Cost of Mental Health – How Can We Tackle It? By Andy Brown, Leadership Coach and Author of The Emotional Overdraft

When I was researching my book, I surveyed dozens of business leaders in people-based, service led firms. 91% agreed that they had paid an emotional cost to achieve an objective when it seemed simpler than finding an alternative. And 97% were of the opinion that they had usually or sometimes supported their business at the cost of their own emotional and mental health.

The Emotional Overdraft

The concept of an ‘emotional overdraft’ describes the toll on leaders when they subsidise their business success at the cost of their own physical or mental well-being. If you’ve ever found yourself consistently working late, feeling anxious, picking up tasks not meant for you to save time or money, deprioritising your physical wellness, or missing out on social occasions with family or friends, then you’ve likely been dipping into your emotional overdraft.

Whilst it’s normal to occasionally dip into your emotional overdraft, being permanently overdrawn leads to diminished mental health, reduced resilience, and burnout. Protecting leaders’ mental health is crucial not only for their well-being but also for the sustainable success of their businesses.

Leadership Myths Contributing to Emotional Overdraft

Myth #1: A Healthy Profit & Loss = A Healthy Business

A common misconception is that a thriving P&L statement indicates a thriving business. However, the invisible line of personal sacrifice—missed family time, anxiety, restlessness—doesn’t appear in financial reports. If it did, many businesses might show a significant loss, highlighting the cost of success borne by leaders themselves. Protecting leaders’ health requires acknowledging these hidden costs.

Myth #2: Running a Business is Supposed to Be Stressful

Many believe that constant struggle and stress are inherent in running a business. Yet, some high-achieving leaders manage to stay emotionally balanced. These leaders embrace the philosophy that there are three options when overwhelmed: 1) Stress and worry, 2) Work diligently and productively, and 3) Delegate or seek help. The key is to move away from the belief that constant stress is a necessary component of success. Reducing stress is vital for safeguarding leaders’ mental health.

Myth #3: Leaders Must Do Everything Themselves

Leadership is a team sport, yet many leaders believe they must handle everything alone, driven by a lack of trust in others or a need for control. This behaviour leads to a perpetual state of emotional overdraft. Leaders should take the Emotional Overdraft Self-Assessment to understand their tendencies and start delegating tasks to build a more sustainable work environment. Trusting others and sharing responsibilities is essential for leaders’ mental health.

Myth #4: Show No Weakness, Always Be Positive

Leading with a facade of constant positivity and strength sets an unhealthy standard. True leadership involves vulnerability and authenticity, which fosters a psychologically safe work environment where team members feel valued and are willing to take creative risks. As Brené Brown suggests, showing up and being seen, even when it’s tough, is critical for effective leadership. Embracing vulnerability is key to maintaining leaders’ mental health.

Myth #5: Empathy is Essential to Leadership, No Matter the Cost

While empathy is important, it should not come at the leader’s expense. Misapplied empathy—stemming from a need to be liked or a desire to belong—can hinder effective leadership. Leaders must balance empathy with clear direction, ensuring they support their teams without sacrificing their own well-being. Setting boundaries is crucial for protecting leaders’ mental health.

So, how can leaders prioritise their mental health and avoid dipping into emotional overdraft?

1. Build awareness

Awareness of emotional overdraft, even if initially it’s just recognising the condition, helps you to understand yourself better. It enables you to acknowledge your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and ultimately make better choices to return to a healthy work/life equilibrium.

In my book, I talk about the ten drivers of an emotional overdraft: duty, self-worth, trust, empathy, JFDI (just flipping do it), urgency, cost, at a loss, load balancing, and expectation. If you want to know which drivers show up most for you, complete the Emotional Overdraft Self-Assessment – a free tool devised to get you thinking about the specifics of what’s causing your emotional overdraft.

I also outline the eight most common situations in which leaders run up an emotional overdraft, which include:

• When the team was under pressure, and they put team needs before their own.
• When they believed that they were the only person who could do something or didn’t trust anyone else to do it.
• In urgent situations or when time was tight.

Get familiar with your key drivers and list the situations or times they tend to crop up. Is it at a specific time of year? Or with a specific person on your team? Simple awareness will allow you to plan or mitigate times you know you’re likely to start dipping into your emotional overdraft, thus protecting your mental health.

2. Be empathetic, but set boundaries

Empathy is a vital leadership trait, but it must be balanced with boundaries. Leaders should support their teams without sacrificing their well-being. For example, avoid working late simply to match your team’s hours. Instead, set clear goals and provide direction, which can be more supportive than simply staying late. Communicate openly about the importance of work-life balance and model this behaviour. Your team will appreciate the clear boundaries and the focus on well-being, leading to a healthier work environment for everyone. This balance is essential for maintaining leaders’ mental health.

3. Reject the myth that business must be inherently stressful

Productivity can be achieved without constant stress. Embrace delegation and seek help to maintain a healthy emotional state while driving business success. Understand that running a business doesn’t have to be a constant struggle. Identify tasks that can be delegated and resist the urge to micromanage. Hiring a competent team and trusting them with responsibilities not only alleviates your stress but also empowers your team, fostering a collaborative and efficient work environment. This shift is critical for leaders’ mental health.

4. Conduct the ‘20% of your time’ exercise

Many leaders spend their time like this:

• 20% on work that currently only they can do in the organisation.
• 20% on tasks that are skilled but that other people, if they had the right experience, could also carry out.
• 20% on work that’s complex but doesn’t require specialist expertise.
• 20% on work that takes a certain amount of ability but could be handled by lots of their team.
• 20% on stuff that anyone could do but that, for some reason, they seem to pick up anyway.

Imagine that you could stop doing that final 20%. Just think – you could double the percentage of time spent on the tasks that only you can do. That’s 40% of precious time and energy now devoted to core leadership responsibilities, achieved by eliminating the things that anyone could handle and that you shouldn’t be involved with anyway. This reallocation of time is crucial for maintaining leaders’ mental health.

5. Embrace vulnerability and authenticity

Creating a culture of vulnerability and authenticity is essential. When leaders show vulnerability, they build psychologically safe environments where team members feel valued and are willing to take creative risks. This openness fosters trust and inclusion, leading to better business outcomes. Encourage your team to share their perspectives without fear of consequences and make it clear that failure is a part of growth. This approach not only strengthens the team but also enhances overall resilience and innovation within the organisation. Embracing vulnerability is key to maintaining leaders’ mental health.

Leaders can achieve business success without sacrificing their mental and physical health. By understanding and managing emotional overdraft, embracing effective delegation, and fostering a culture of vulnerability and trust, leaders can build sustainable and thriving businesses. It’s essential to reject harmful leadership myths and adopt practices that promote well-being and resilience. Protecting leaders’ mental health is not just beneficial for the individuals themselves, but it is also crucial for the long-term success and sustainability of their businesses.

Andy Brown’s book The Emotional Overdraft: 10 simple changes for balancing business success and wellbeing is available to purchase on Amazon.

Follow Andy on LinkedIn.

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