Always Say Yes to A Cup of Tea – Leadership Advice to Live By

All good leadership is built on relationships, get to know people, and get them to know you. Visit people, chat with them. Put them at ease, and work hard to listen to what they say and value their perspective. And remember the golden rule: if they offer you a cup of tea (or coffee!) always accept.

They are offering because they want you to spend time with them. It might not feel like work, but it is one of the most useful ways that you can spend time as a leader. By taking ten minutes to sit down with someone, it lets your team know that you have time for them and gives you an opportunity to really engage people.

Always Say Yes to A Cup of Tea

Engaging others is a core leadership activity, an effective use of your time, which can also be interesting and enjoyable. By engaging with people, I mean really connect with them. The aim is to get to know people: to break down the hierarchy, bureaucracy, and status consciousness around you to form meaningful connections. 

Make sure you are present, take time to ask questions about them and how they are feeling. Listen much more than you talk and try not to take any criticism personally and become defensive. Just listen to what people are saying and what is important to them. 

Making The Most of Time with Your Team

Visit your team at work and spend some time with them there as a way of building relationships. By doing this, you may meet them where they feel most at ease—on their turf. As a result, there is less conflict and interference, which fosters a more open and honest sense of connection. It is always beneficial to get up and move around because you meet new people and see things that are not obvious from your desk.

The same principle applies if you work in a dispersed team: meet with people frequently and in a way that removes status from the engagement. Connecting via video conferencing or phone is a little more difficult, so you must try a little harder to compensate. Be a little more animated and work hard to invite and encourage people to speak up.

I have a few ‘rules’ for connecting that you might find useful:

 The 5 Rules of Connecting 

1. When offered a cup of tea or coffee, always accept it. This communicates to others that you have time for them.
2. Be true to yourself. Don’t be tempted to hide behind your title or position. Instead, remain calm, smile, and look people in the eyes.
3. Be present and take notes as needed. Take the time to enquire about them and their feelings. And, for the duration of the meeting, turn off or silence all digital devices.
4. Listen far more than you speak. Avoid taking criticism personally and becoming defensive of company policy or your own decisions. Simply listen to what others are saying and try to figure out what is important to them.
5. If time allows, speak simply and consistently about what you hope to accomplish in the organisation.

Neil Jurd OBE is the author of The Leadership Book and he is an executive coach and trainer for senior leaders and teams.

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